Insurance vent!

augh. Insurance sucks!!!!!!! I just spent 45 minutes on the phone between the pharmarcy, the insurance, and the dr's office, trying to get them to cover the stinkin progesterone...AGAIN!

I called in my refill order the other day. I know this would take a while since they have to order it, then have the pharamcist make it overnight..blah blah. So I wasnt' expecting to get it until Friday or next week...I still have about 2 weeks (maybe 10 days) left. The pharmacy called me this afternoon (mind you, it was about 4:15pm...close to closing time for insurance and dr's offices) telling me that insurance is not covering it. AUGH. So I hang up, call the insurance. Talk to someone. They transfer me to someone else. I talk to her. She puts me on hold to check some stuff. We talk again. Discover that yes, insurance IS covering it. Insurance calls the pharmacy to find out what they are doing wrong. Turns out #1..they were putting it under Ryan's name (DUH!! I don't think a 3 yr old can take progeserone!!!!) and they are covering the wrong med. She said once that is all taken care of, it WILL be covered. Hang up, call the dr's office. Talk to Michelle, the nurse I've been dealing with since last year when I first starting getting medical help (I'm very comfortable with her) and she says she'll call the insurance to get it taken care of (she wasn't the original person that called the insurance to begin with). Well, since it's after 5pm, it will have to be taken care of tomorrow. But then the pharmacy calls me back and says on their end it seems to be a problem with a code and it IS covered...but insurance is only paying $15!!!! The cost is $84.99 and I STILL have to pay $71.99!!!!!! WTH???? Is that even worth it?? So anyway, I'm not getting the prescription until I hear back from Michelle tomorrow. It's all a huge mess. I HATE dealing with insurance.

And what is up with progesterone.....every single time I try to get it something like this happens. gggrrr. I can't wait until I am off this med. My ONLY complaint about being pg. And it's more of a complaint of insurance. gggrr.

7 weeks

Yay!! I'm at 7 weeks! Every week seems amazing to me as I still never thought I'd be here. I'm still in awe! And would you believe....LOL, the POAS a holic in me has come out (again)! I still have some internet cheapie tests, and I actually used one!!! LOL It was a nice solid, strong BFP that came up right away (in fact, before the control line did) LOL I'm not sure what I would have done if it came up as BFN...I think I was actually half expecting it! I've seen so many BFN's in my lifetime....I still expect to see them. I think my POAS urge is now done. I hope. LOL

I am still the same weight as last week...so that's good. I was worried earlier this week that I was eating too much and not eating the right things. When I was pg the first time (with Ryan) I was so careful about what I ate and followed the book to the T. But this time I'm more about eating what I want as opposed to what is good for me. I changed that this week and am now eating healthy.....made fruit salad today so I will be snacking on that. My belly has gotten a tad bit bigger...but I think that's mostly bloating. My jeans still feel good...not tight at all yet. All's good there! LOL

I've been really tired lately....been difficult getting out of bed....and at night when I try to write I have no concentration at all. I just can't seem to focus. I've also been nautious this week....about the time it started with Ryan too. Morning is the worst time. I take a shower and then feel sick for the next hours after that. By afternoon it goes away and by evening I can eat anything.

I need to throw in some more excercise. I've been too lazy lately...and I think that's one reason why I'm so tired. I think I'll try taking more walks with Ryan in the afternoons. I need to get some exercise!

I really can't wait until I'm done with the progesteone suppositories. I hate these things. They are a pain.

Today I had my first emotional moment. I haven't had any mood swings at all since I got my BFP.....until today. I was upset at Ryan and yelled at him (poor thing), then I felt bad and apologized to him and I started crying. He's probably wondering what the heck is wrong with her? LOL I hate how emotional I'm getting.

Otherwise things are going great! 8 more days until my u/s! Can't wait!! I'm feeling very confident and postive about this pregnancy...I really think everything is going to be ok.

Nausea

Yesterday was the first day that I actually had real nausea....not m/s at all....I never lost my breakfast, but I sure felt like it!!! I had already eaten, so I know it wasn't because of that. But I just didn't feel too well. It only lasted a few hours and then I was fine. But I was so happy to feel sick!! LOL

My shampoo is actually making me feel ill too. Isn't it weird when you are pg how you have a heightened sense of smell? My shampoo now smells to me like the chemical you use to perm hair. LOL I know...strange. But it has that weird, strong odor to it.

We also went to my friend's house yesterday to see their new baby. She delivered the same day I got my BFP! She has a beautiful baby girl....and I got to hold her and feed her. Something I would have had a very hard time with before. But it would be hard not to love this baby...she is gorgeous! But it's an hour drive there and I had to stop twice on the way to pee!!!! LOL

I'm starting to feel a little anxiety about the possiblity of PPD. I had severe PPD after Ryan...and I know the chances are higher with each pregnancy once you've had it. I plan on talking with my dr about it during my first appt....but it does kinda scare me. I never want to go through that again. I've worked so hard to get here....I don't want to have to go through the worst pain I've ever felt again. So something I will be discussing with my dr.

Everything is going great! One lady at church has been gone for several weeks..she had an operation and has been recovering...and today was her first day back. I made the praise/prayer request about my u/s and she's like WHAT???!! LOL Poor thing was out of the loop! LOL Oh..and I wear my regular dress pants to church (I had to work in the nursery today) and they are already getting tight!!! yikes!!

LOL I just want the next week and half to go fast!! I can't wait for my u/s!

u/s

I finally set up the appt for my u/s! It will be on July 6. I will be 8 weeks 1 day then....so I should see the h/b!! I can't wait!! I know I will feel so much better after that. Now I just need to get through 2 more weeks.

Last beta awesome!

I just got the results from my last and final beta (unless it is necessary) and it's 8000!! It's doubling time is 49.8 hours!! woo hoo!! So it is progressing exactly the way it should be!! woohoo!!!!! I'm breathing a half sigh of relief right now.

My dr told me to call and schedule an u/s now for sometime in the next 3 weeks. I tried calling a while ago but the radiology dept had no record of the dr ordering it, and when I went to call the dr's office, they were out for lunch (for their hour and half lunch break...grrrrr). So I need to call back in a little while to get that set up. I can't wait to get the u/s! I will breathe so much better when I see the h/b!

I'm still feeling good. I'm eating about once every hour to two hours...mainly snacking on things like peanuts and crackers. I've been eating more fruit and high fiber foods and that has helped! No big morning sickness yet....but yesterday after laying down for a while I got up and felt pretty dizzy for a moment! It passed after a brief moment of standing against something. I'm still peeing constantly, my bbs still sore, still af like cramping. All seems good! I'm tired ALL the time!!! But I'm doing great!

About a week ago I noticed my right hip hurts. It only bothers me at the moment when I lie on it or if my underwear is resting on it. Very strange.

All is good so far! Stick baby stick!!!

6 weeks

Today I am 6 weeks. Halfway through the first trimester. I went in this morning for another beta test and will get the results tomorrow.

I had a bleeding/spotting scare yesterday, but has since stopped and nothing today (minor little spotting as I'm TP stalking). All is looking good so far.

I still have all those symptoms...plus now having some cravings. I have been craving McD's Vanilla shake. I also have been craving Laffy Taffys! I am still hungry all the time...and when I don't eat I get nautious. But when I do eat...I can only eat very little before I get full.

I weighed in today..I lost a pound and a half since last week. I'm a pound lighter than I was when I first found out I was pg! LOL

Still not showing yet..but I got plenty of time for that. haha

Told my family and other things...

I told the rest of my family on Father's Day. I did the same thing I did with my parents....had Ryan wear the "I'm a Big brother" shirt and see how long it took them to get it. It didn't take them long LOL. My brother caught on pretty quickly. Everyone congratulated me and were all excited, shocked, and happy. My SIL said she couldn't wait for the baby to be here now. She reminded me of Ryan. LOL

My brothers are already talking names. It's rather frightening..but that's ok. I'll let them be excited for me...as I'm still nervous as all get out. Until I see that h/b I'm taking it one day at a time. I don't even want to think about names or anything until I know for sure this is a keeper.

On another note...nausea has now hit! And honestly, I couldn't be happier!!! LOL I started feeling it a little bit yesterday, but I ate something and I was fine.Today it hit me after lunch....and I just am not feeling all that great. But it makes me feel good since I know things must be going well!! LOL

My betas

So I got my numbers back today!

Just a refresher: 11 DPO (the day I first got a BFP) my hcg was 30.18 DPO my hcg is.......773!!! That's a doubling time of 35.8 hours!!!!! Crikey!!! LOL I'm completely amazed at how fast it's growing!!!! Grow bean grow!!

So she wants me to go in for yet another beta next week Wed. They are really taking precautions....which makes me feel REALLY good. I'm so glad they are following me closely this time around. Otherwise I'd be a basketcase! It's hard enough not to worry. Pregnancy is totally different after you've had a m/c. It's hard to just relax and enjoy it...but so far I have no reason to not enjoy it! Once my numbers get above 2000 (which should be next week) we will schedule an u/s!!! I should be having an u/s around 8 weeks or so. (maybe even earlier if I can swing it LOL). This u/s will be to check to see if there is one or more in there (yikes!), check viablility and hb. Oh pray that there is a heartbeat this time!!

I'm still feeling good. Not as hungry anymore. My stomach rumbles, but when I think about food I really don't want to eat. I'm not sick or nautious..just don't feel like eating. I'm also tired. Though I'm not as tired today as I was yesterday.I'm holding back from getting excited...I don't want to think names or nursery or anything permanant yet until I have the u/s....just for my own sanity. Last time I got so attached...had names picked and the nursery picked out and planned the shower and then lost the baby at 9 weeks. I'm trying to save my sanity...just in case. All is good so far...and I feel better now knowing my numbers are doubling!! Stick baby stick!!!!

5 weeks June 14, 2006

Today I am 5 weeks pg. It's been a full week already since I took my first pg test that came up BFP. I remember calling Amber bright and early and practically screaming in her not-quite-awake-yet ear "I GOT A BFP!" I was 11 DPO and my hcg level was 30. I had been feeling so different during my 2ww....very different than any other month. I had been ttc for 26 months, charting for 20 months....I knew my body so well that I knew something was different. My bbs were so sore, I had af like cramping...but I had spotting for about 5 days. I didn't think it happened. I was spotting just way too much. I took a test on 9 DPO and it was BFN. I figured that was it....all done. Then my temp went up on 11 DPO....and my LP already was longer than normal (a normal LP of 9 or 10 days)....so I tested! Woo hoo! I was so shocked I ended up taking 4 tests that day....plus a blood test before I really believed it. And even then I took another test on 14 DPO just to be sure, and have been checking for af since!!! LOL I still have a hard time believing it really happened. All the heartache, all the pain, all the tears, the prayers.......it's all so worth it. Not that I EVER want to go through inferitlity again....but it was worth it. I learned so much, have met so many wonderful women, have helped so many people, and have found my faith and trust in God. It's totally all HIM!

So I'm feeling really good. My sore bbs have gone away...but they are still sensitive, and feel full. I haven't noticed them being any bigger (boo hoo), but they are more full and more "spongy" LOL. I still have af like cramps....mainly on the right side. It gets worse when I'm active. It's generally my cue to sit down and rest. I'm HUNGRY all the time!! and thirsty! I had my first craving yesterday....Mcd's vanilla milk shake. I resisted the urge though. LOL I've also been really thirsty. And I should set up tent in the bathroom.....because I have to pee CONSTANTLY!!!And it looks like fatigue has set it....I could barely get up this morning. But I'm loving every minute of this!More to come!! Join me as I continue on this journey!!

How I told dh and parents

Here is how I told dh. The last two pregnancies I was so excited over it that I just rushed into telling him. (With Ryan I POAS during breakfast and was so excited I ran out to tell him and showed him the stick over eggs, with the m/c the line was so faint I couldn't tell if it was a BFP or not so I showed him). So this time I wanted to do something different.I'm due on Valentines day (how AMAZING is that?!!) so I thought I'd get a cake with red flowers on it and write on it Miracle Baby due 2-14-07. Then I got some strawberries (I craved strawberries like you wouldn't believe when I was pg with Ryan) in a bowl.
I was originally going to do this all Wed night when I found out....but it would figure his work would not cooperate with me. It was the ONE night he had to work at night!!! He didn't get home until 2am. So I did it in the morning...cake for breakfast!! LOLI put the cake and the strawberries on the table and he came in the room and smiled. I tried to get Ryan to say "I'm going to be a big brother" but the silly 3.5 yr old that he is refused to say it. (I don't want to say that mommy). So I ended up saying it and dh was laughing. He didn't have teh emotional response I was hoping for, but I know he's happy.He's probably happy mainly because we don't need to time sex anymore!!! hahaha

I told my parents on Friday. I got a t-shirt for Ryan that says "I'm the Big Brother" and had him wear it to their house on Friday. My mom was the first to see him. She didn't get the concept at first....wondered who gave him the shirt and why he was wearing a t-shirt on a cold day. She kept saying it over and over until finally it clicked! She looked at me with wide eyes "YOU'RE PREGNANT?!" When I nodded she didn't believe me! (of course, I wouldn't have believed it either...after 2 yrs you tend to doubt). It was priceless and I wish I had the video camera.My dad was at work at the time, so we went to go see him. It took him even longer to figure out the shirt. We practically had to spell it out to him. LOL But once he got it he started crying! I started crying then!! LOL He couldn't stop staying how happy he was! (he's been asking for another grandchild for a while now). It was just so special.I still have so many more people to tell. I will tell the rest of my family on Father's Day. Then there's the people at church tomorrow and other various friends. The more people I tell the more real it feels. This really is happening!!

My BFP! June 7, 2006

I can't believe it!!!!!!!!!!! After 26 loooong months.....just over 2 years of ttc/infertility.....I finally got a BFP!!!!!!!!! I'm in complete and utter shock!

I have been feeling symptoms since 6 DPO....sore boobs, af like cramps, fatigue. I even had an aversion to veggie dip for a day. I KNEW something was up, but I took a test on 9 DPO and it was neg. Figured I was imagining the symptoms. I had been spotting for about 5 days, so I figured af was on her way. On 11 DPO my temp went up....which it NEVER does that far into my lp (I normally don't even have an lp that long) so I tested using Dollar Tree. Got a faint line. Tried FRER and got a definite BFP!!!! Woo hooo!!!! I called my OB and she had me come in for a blood test...my hcg level on 11 DPO was 30!!! Very good so far!!! And just to be sure I'm not day dreaming...I took another Dollar Tree test today (14 DPO) and got a VERY definite BFP!!!!! I'm still in such shock!!! I never thought it would happen. I was just getting used to the idea of Ryan being the only child. Miracles really do happen.

I think God was just waiting for me to give it all up to Him. After clomid failed, I couldn't deal with it anymore. I gave up my journey to Him. I started to trust in Him fully and learn to live and be happy with my situation. I think God said "FINALLY!". Amazing things do happen when you believe!!! :D

I'm feeling good right now. Tired. I get worn out pretty quickly. I still have af like cramps...they come and go. They get worse when I'm active. Boobs aren't quite as sore.

My OB has put me on progesterone supplements due to previous m/c, and my LPD. I started those today. I won't even go into the issues I had with that. (well, maybe later).

I still can't believe it!! I'm so excited I could burst!!! I have been wanting this for so long.
26 months of ttc
20 months of charting
numerous dr appts
a Lap and HSG 3 months vitamin B6 numerous months of drinking green tea preseed OPK's
3 months of clomid
1 month clomid and progesterone
2 months of Vitex

Been a very long road. It all seems so surreal.

Please pray this baby sticks.

And go figure...it was a birthday conception, and a Valentine's baby!! I'm due on Valentine's Day! God's timing really is perfect!

Thanks to everyone who has stuck by me and supported me through this whole ordeal! I appreciate it!!!